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  • Andrew Andersen

Old Joke about Cowboy Bill and His Green Mare

Canada / December, 2023

I heard this joke in Latvia during my late childhood – in the mid-1970s. Naturally, there were never any cowboys in Latvia, but there were jokes about them. Perhaps there still are. So, if you have already heard this joke, don't be too harsh. And if you haven't, maybe it'll amuse you.

So, there were two young cowboys living in the American Far West – John and Bill. John was considered the favorite among all the girls and women, and by the age of twenty-five, he couldn't even remember all the ladies he'd had romantic adventures with. But Bill... Bill, just like John, had a quite attractive appearance, but as soon as he opened his mouth and said something, any interest from the fairer sex vanished completely.

One day, Bill turned to John for advice: "Johnny, you're so popular among women here, but I'm having no luck with them! Could you give me a couple of seduction techniques or something?"

 "Sure thing! There are plenty of tricks for that!" replied John. "For example, paint your mare green, saddle up, and ride her on the highway. I bet that within a couple of minutes, a magnificent open-top car will stop near you, driven by a beautiful girl. The girl will ask you, 'Why is your horse such a strange green color?' And you answer, 'Ah, to hell with her! Let's go, have some fun together!' And I assure you, from then on, everything will go smoothly! If not the first time, then surely by the second or third!"

Said and done! Bill painted his mare green, saddled up, and rode onto the highway. It wasn't even a minute before a long white convertible with the top down braked beside him, driven by a dazzlingly beautiful, long-haired blonde.

"Hey, buddy! Let's go have some fun together!" the blonde offered right away.

"Ah, to hell with you!" replied Bill. "Look at my green mare!..."

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